What Ron said...

Ron Aitkinson was once England's most beloved sports commentator- a former coach whose mangling of the English language was legendary and made him one of the most popular men in the country. Then one fateful day in the studio- thinking his mic was off- he called a black player "A fucking lazy thick nigger" and his world came crashing down.
What happened to Ron showed how being racist in England is met with some serious zero- tolerance. He was hounded out of his job, lost all his endorsement contracts and became no better than a leper. And this is a man who in his heyday nurtured more black soccer players than any other coach and none of them could remember him being even remotely racist. All he had to say was the 'N' word however, and everything changed.
So anyway tonight I was watching poor Mr Aitkinson try and force his way back into into society. The program was called 'What Ron said' and was basically him going all the way to the USA and back to England talking to black people and trying to discover if he was actually racist and what people thought of him. It was like a parody seeing him confront all his black-and white- critics and trying to explain himself and tell us how many black friends he has and all that stuff and we were treated to a lot of weird segments like the origins and connotations of the word 'nigger'. It was not meant to be a comedy, but it was bloody funny anyway. Thank you BBC. You've always been there for me.
But the man seriously couldnt speak English. Here are a few of the phrases that today are known as 'Ronglish' see if you can spot what's wrong with them. If you can't, you should ask yourself how you got past that stern teacher in Primary two.
-Beckenbauer has really gambled all his eggs.
-Tony Adams - he's the rock that the team has grown from.
-He sliced the ball when he had it on a plate.
-Someone in the England team will have to grab the ball by the horns.
-He's not only a good player, but he's spiteful in the nicest sense of the word
-I wouldn't say Ginola is the best left winger in the Premiership,
but there are none better.
-Well , either side could win it, or it could be a draw.
-Moreno thought that the full back was gonna come up behind and give him one really hard.( Gay joke alert)
-Zidane is not very happy, because he's suffering from the wind.