the end of the line: how a ray of sunshine nearly made me understand

I'm done.
Am I delighted? Absofuckinglutely.
When I came out of that exam, I just felt completely numb. It's a bit hard to do cartwheels when its raining outside and today was one of the gloomiest days weather-wise. Anyway I just stood there, trying to take it all in and wondering why I just felt completely numb and relieved. I've been doing this whole revision thing for so long that I was just completely drained at the end of it. There was just a blur of people walking past me and strangely enough Under the bridge by Red Hot Chilli Peppers was playing in my head. I would have been a lot happier not having a song about heroin addiction in my head even though it is a lovely song. I remember in my first year it was clarity by John Mayer and it was so fitting but then again the sun was out that day unlike today which was as wet as it is going to get.
It was all over. I didnt have to pick up another law book. The implications of this are staggering. Like Medusa's head, I dont think I can look directly at this at the risk of being paralyzed.
Jade comes bounding out. I've never seen anyone as constantly happy as Jade- eternally sunny and as a consequence very likeable. Like me, it hadn't quite sunk in for her but she was dreaming up plans of dinners with her friends and nights out and novels and TV. Looking all around, there were people like us all trying to take it in. You could see almost see them thinking feverishly about how much drinking and shagging and lazying they were going to cram in this summer. We all have plans.
Even much later when I went to campus I couldnt feel the euphoria I thought I would- just that happy numbness. I was walking through the field on my way back and it was drizzling slightly. Then it suddenly stopped and for a few brief seconds against all odds the sun peeked out of the clouds. At that moment I got a sudden flash of what this all meant and then the sun vanished and the feeling was gone. I was happy, but I hadn't yet taken it all in and I still haven't.
"Don't you dare start gloating" Quena says as soon as she sees me at lunch. Tommy.B is there as well and he's making jokes about his predicament-"I got all of the costs and none of the benefits of University!"- and is in a suprisingly good mood. Thankfully today's conversation doesn't pick off from yesterday's which was about transsexuals. Vid is done as well but he's got a flu and he's feeling down. He's been sleeping literally all day after his exam and looked a bit embarassed when Quena had one of those mad moments of hers and jumped into bed with him and started cuddling up. I haven't got that much sleep recently- this morning I was up at five minutes to six because I was so paranoid about waking up late.
I was lying in bed all day. Aside from that moment in the field, the only other time it hit me was when I had just put Gorillaz in the CD player and I was walking around the room looking for something. I then suddenly-almost against my will- broke out into a mad dance saying "I'm done, I'm fucking done...." (thats the short version- the long version contains more swearing than I want to put on this blog)then when I was done I calmly got into bed and started reading some stuff I had saved up.
I've got weeks of chilling coming up.
I'm as ready as I'm going to be.