things I have learned from the world cup
*Includes things I suspected before but have confirmed over the last few weeks*
-The flashes we got of Diego Maradona in the crowd during Argentina's games suggests quite strongly that his flirtation with mind-enhancing drugs has yet to come to an end.
-Fabio Cannavaro is the best defender in the world. Fact.
-Some of the tournament referees would benefit with a short stay at Guantanamo Bay.
-It's official- men can now freely express their emotions infront of a billion people by crying their eyes out. Another macho stereotype rudely dashed.
-Turns out Italy CAN play some bloody exciting football when they feel like it.
-Being overweight is in no way an impediment to breaking the all-time world cup leading scorer record. It turns out you don't even need to be in good shape to be a footballer. Step forward Ronaldo- we will miss you though.
-The best team (Argentina) did not win.
-A massive corruption scandal involving four of your country's biggest teams and very possibly some of your players does not in any way distract you from reaching a world cup final. Who knew?
-Girly hair has yet to be stamped out of the sport- see Pablo Sorin, Mauro Camoranesi etc
-If you knock Argentina out of the world cup, they WILL use their fists.
-According to the English tabloids, stamping on someone's nuts is OK (Rooney) but running up to the ref to protest about this action is despicable (Christiano Ronaldo)Apparently you are not supposed to do that to your club team-mate even at a world cup. Some reports even suggest that Carvalho made the most of Rooney's 'challenge'- how could he not? Is there such a thing as overreacting to having your balls stamped on?
-Brazil: lazy or complacent? discuss.
-The men behind the camera have an almost superhuman ability to spot a hot woman in a crowd of 50,000 people.
-There was the assumption by the men behind the cameras that the rest of the world dearly needed to see Victoria Beckham's reaction to every England shot, throw-in, substitution, corner etc. Sometimes it felt like the football on the pitch was just the supporting act to the Victoria Beckham show. If England had reached the final, actual footage of the men on the pitch would have been about ten minutes.
-Thierry Henry is not quite the gentleman we thought he was but is a cheat after all. Those things he said at the end of the Champions League final ("I don't go down like a girl") have already returned to haunt him
-The Guardian minute by minute commentary of the games was a joy.
-Some Islamic leaders don't take too kindly to having football corrupting the Muslim youth- after all, the world cup is just a cunning front of the Zionist and American infidels to distract their youth (I am para-phrasing here but this was the gist of the story)
-Too much of the commentary came out sounding like sexual innuendo ("It's so lovely to see two strikers playing with each other" to quote David Pleat on ITV last night)I don't know whose fault this is.
-Turns out Owen Hargreaves is not actually a mediocre player but is instead some kind of superman.
-Games with men sent off inevitably became a better spectacle whether from a sporting point of view (Italy vs. US) or from a drama point of view (Holland vs Portugal which should have been administered by WWF rules)
-Frank Lampard- To quote someone else, this man couldn't hit a cow's ass with a banjo.
-England have some serious psychologial issues when it comes to penalties. SERIOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES!
-Ghana may have impressed us with the skill of their football, but they win a joint-prize with Portugal for going down quicker than a two dollar prostitute. Many found contact with thin air was enough to make them fall to the ground.
-The flashes we got of Diego Maradona in the crowd during Argentina's games suggests quite strongly that his flirtation with mind-enhancing drugs has yet to come to an end.
-Fabio Cannavaro is the best defender in the world. Fact.
-Some of the tournament referees would benefit with a short stay at Guantanamo Bay.
-It's official- men can now freely express their emotions infront of a billion people by crying their eyes out. Another macho stereotype rudely dashed.
-Turns out Italy CAN play some bloody exciting football when they feel like it.
-Being overweight is in no way an impediment to breaking the all-time world cup leading scorer record. It turns out you don't even need to be in good shape to be a footballer. Step forward Ronaldo- we will miss you though.
-The best team (Argentina) did not win.
-A massive corruption scandal involving four of your country's biggest teams and very possibly some of your players does not in any way distract you from reaching a world cup final. Who knew?
-Girly hair has yet to be stamped out of the sport- see Pablo Sorin, Mauro Camoranesi etc
-If you knock Argentina out of the world cup, they WILL use their fists.
-According to the English tabloids, stamping on someone's nuts is OK (Rooney) but running up to the ref to protest about this action is despicable (Christiano Ronaldo)Apparently you are not supposed to do that to your club team-mate even at a world cup. Some reports even suggest that Carvalho made the most of Rooney's 'challenge'- how could he not? Is there such a thing as overreacting to having your balls stamped on?
-Brazil: lazy or complacent? discuss.
-The men behind the camera have an almost superhuman ability to spot a hot woman in a crowd of 50,000 people.
-There was the assumption by the men behind the cameras that the rest of the world dearly needed to see Victoria Beckham's reaction to every England shot, throw-in, substitution, corner etc. Sometimes it felt like the football on the pitch was just the supporting act to the Victoria Beckham show. If England had reached the final, actual footage of the men on the pitch would have been about ten minutes.
-Thierry Henry is not quite the gentleman we thought he was but is a cheat after all. Those things he said at the end of the Champions League final ("I don't go down like a girl") have already returned to haunt him
-The Guardian minute by minute commentary of the games was a joy.
-Some Islamic leaders don't take too kindly to having football corrupting the Muslim youth- after all, the world cup is just a cunning front of the Zionist and American infidels to distract their youth (I am para-phrasing here but this was the gist of the story)
-Too much of the commentary came out sounding like sexual innuendo ("It's so lovely to see two strikers playing with each other" to quote David Pleat on ITV last night)I don't know whose fault this is.
-Turns out Owen Hargreaves is not actually a mediocre player but is instead some kind of superman.
-Games with men sent off inevitably became a better spectacle whether from a sporting point of view (Italy vs. US) or from a drama point of view (Holland vs Portugal which should have been administered by WWF rules)
-Frank Lampard- To quote someone else, this man couldn't hit a cow's ass with a banjo.
-England have some serious psychologial issues when it comes to penalties. SERIOUS PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES!
-Ghana may have impressed us with the skill of their football, but they win a joint-prize with Portugal for going down quicker than a two dollar prostitute. Many found contact with thin air was enough to make them fall to the ground.
posted by Minzo at 2:16 PM
2 Comments:
minega u crazy fool!that is so true,and funny too,keep doin wat u do!
Manzi
aaaah italy can play more than some pretty exciting football, obviously :P u didnt mention the fact that zidane believes his head talks better than his mouth. one big bloody disppointment, i say. Happy graduation, btw :)
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