Drogba and Jasper Gerrard: You have me as an enemy you twats

My usually divine Sunday Times experience was spoiled last night when I got to the back of the paper. Of course calling The Sunday Times a newspaper is like calling the Amazon a big pond- its massive, has about 100 sections and in all takes at least three wonderful hours to read. My life without it would be very problematic.
So spoiling this for me would take a bit of effort but Jasper Gerrard managed to do it with a few misguided lines in his colummn. He bashed Radiohead lead singer Thom Yorke for refusing to meet Tony Blair because Tony has been screwing up on his enviromental promises. Thom said Blair has been living in 'La-la land' which I think is accurate although it is a place that some might say is already overpopulated. Anyway Gerrard questioned Yorke's climatologist credentials and quoted some lyrics from the Radiohead song Myxamatosis ('my thoughts are misguided and a little naive')Using lyrics from a song Radiohead named after a Rabbit disease was Gerrard's incredibly stupid way of trying to tell us that Yorke did not know what he was talking about. He went further and said Yorke is 'just a cocky little rocker with a big gob' and said the real wonder is that Tony Blair wanted to meet him in the first place. Obviously the fact that Yorke is in a band automatically disqualifies him from making informed comments on topical issues? What a twat.
What did those lyrics have to do with Yorke's opinion? God knows celebrities have enough people to defend them, but I really hate the fact that everytime a celebrity has something to say on any topical issue he gets slaughtered. Yorke has been working with Friends of the Earth for years so one would assume he knows what he is talking about. Even if he doesn't, it certainly doesnt call for such a ridiculous and childish attack on him from this smug bastard. I'm not saying all this just because I think Radiohead is the greatest band on earth- I would also like to protest on behalf of Tony Robinson who also got slagged off in the same story. Gerrard said 'him of the cunning plan' which was an allusion to the fact that Robinson played a very stupid character in Blackadder, but what does that have to do with his views in the real world? Is he saying that playing a dumb character in a TV comedy means you can never be allowed to speak up in public about things you care about? I was hopping mad even though the entire article was about thirty lines. I shall go to sleep and hope that a vengeful ex-girlfriend kicks Mr Gerrard soundly in the nuts at some point in the near future.
Someone else who pissed me off last week was Didier Drogba, Chelsea's diving, cheating striker and the most unpleasant footballer we have seen in the Premiership in a few years. Drogba scored a goal aided by his hand the previous week and it was rightly disallowed. He did it again on Saturday and the ref missed it. In a painfully hilarious interview after the game (which will be remembered by any self-respecting football fan for years to come- the interview that is) Drogba admitted that he dived but then a few sentences later said no he didn't dive. It is an impressive feat to hold two contradicting ideas at the same time, but Drogba managed it and scientists will study him for years to come. He then said all the talk of cheating was aimed at Chelsea 'because we are the best'. No- it's because you are a bunch of cheating, diving bastards even though I like some of you. Joe Cole- marvelous player, but he dives so often he spends half the game on his ass. Arjen Robben- cheat, John Terry might be a defender, but with the number of times he's used his hands you would think he has been given special permission to be a second goalie. And the number one cheat is Drogba who went down as if shot on Saturday when the Manchester City player had barely touched him and he has been doing this so regularily of late. Why all the acting? I don't think there are any Holywood scouts watching and you are highly unlikely to win an Oscar nomination. It's so anoying especially considering a team as good as Chelsea dont need to cheat to win and this is why nearly the entire country hates them now. People like Drogba are spoiling football and I hope when we play them in the FA cup semi-finals, we can get Stevie.G to give him something to really cry about.