Beware the crazy girl trying to teach you English (Steely Dan, drunks and a good view of the stars)
We had founder's dinner last night. Of course I didnt go for it- I don't own a suit and also I really dislike formal occasions. Having to sit there making conversation and figuring out which of the 50 different forks and spoons goes where is a bit too much for me even though there was free wine and I haven't had a proper drink since I got back. However it's afterwards that things always get interesting.
So I was standing outside with Vid, Q, Ciro and Murray. Adam-who was VERY drunk- had knocked over Q's lamp and broken it so she had kicked everyone out. Ciro-he's Italian and is trying to polish his English- made the serious mistake of asking Q the best way to ask a girl out in England.
Q instantly said "Tell her- 'Do you want to fellate me?'"
I was thinking; this is just one of those jokes that will be done in about thirty seconds and everyone will be laughing about it, but it ran on and on and got a bit uncomfortable. Ciro was a bit hesitant at first- 'why dont I just ask her 'can we go out for dinner?'- but Q was telling him that her way was the best way and no girl could say no to that. She started telling him to try and ask any passing girl to see what she would say and I was thinking God, this is going to get ugly. I wanted no part of it and I knew things were getting dodgy when Murray backed off from our group and went and stood in the corner watching things with a smile. I took off to the pool table because I wanted to distance myself from the whole affair and because I was struggling not to laugh although I was a bit horrified as well, but the circus eventually found me there. Ciro was walking around asking random girls if they wanted to fellate him, but thankfully few of them could actually understand him (the first one did and run off screaming while her friends stood there open-mouthed, but somehow Q managed to convince him that she did it because she 'lacked the proper etiquette') the thing dragged on and on. When he eventually finds out, he is going to kill her. For now, he's still walking around thinking that asking a girl to fellate you is a romantic way of asking for a date.
Some guy called James last night "I always cause maternal instincts in girls. They just want to mother me and take care of me and do nothing else. It's ruining my life and it really pisses me off!"
My brother had a wonderful moment of inspiration last night. I was telling him about the Daily Express story that was criticizing the government for providing free contraceptives to girls as soon as they hit 16. The headline was CHARTER FOR PROMISCUITY in their typical hysterical way of dealing with things.
And Rama says "Oh yeah- the magna sluta'. Priceless.
First line of a sign in New Court: 'Your cleaner was confronted with vomit in the toilets this morning...'. The use of the word 'confronted' in that sign was just quite funny. I can imagine a confrontation with many things, but with vomit? Did the vomit have attitude leading up to a confrontation or what? We nicked the sign. We had no choice.
Apparently we also had a Reading member of Parliament here on that night. He got seriously drunk and puked in the toilets quite a few times by all accounts. The warden was walking around asking people if they had seen him later on.
So I was standing outside with Vid, Q, Ciro and Murray. Adam-who was VERY drunk- had knocked over Q's lamp and broken it so she had kicked everyone out. Ciro-he's Italian and is trying to polish his English- made the serious mistake of asking Q the best way to ask a girl out in England.
Q instantly said "Tell her- 'Do you want to fellate me?'"
I was thinking; this is just one of those jokes that will be done in about thirty seconds and everyone will be laughing about it, but it ran on and on and got a bit uncomfortable. Ciro was a bit hesitant at first- 'why dont I just ask her 'can we go out for dinner?'- but Q was telling him that her way was the best way and no girl could say no to that. She started telling him to try and ask any passing girl to see what she would say and I was thinking God, this is going to get ugly. I wanted no part of it and I knew things were getting dodgy when Murray backed off from our group and went and stood in the corner watching things with a smile. I took off to the pool table because I wanted to distance myself from the whole affair and because I was struggling not to laugh although I was a bit horrified as well, but the circus eventually found me there. Ciro was walking around asking random girls if they wanted to fellate him, but thankfully few of them could actually understand him (the first one did and run off screaming while her friends stood there open-mouthed, but somehow Q managed to convince him that she did it because she 'lacked the proper etiquette') the thing dragged on and on. When he eventually finds out, he is going to kill her. For now, he's still walking around thinking that asking a girl to fellate you is a romantic way of asking for a date.
Some guy called James last night "I always cause maternal instincts in girls. They just want to mother me and take care of me and do nothing else. It's ruining my life and it really pisses me off!"
My brother had a wonderful moment of inspiration last night. I was telling him about the Daily Express story that was criticizing the government for providing free contraceptives to girls as soon as they hit 16. The headline was CHARTER FOR PROMISCUITY in their typical hysterical way of dealing with things.
And Rama says "Oh yeah- the magna sluta'. Priceless.
First line of a sign in New Court: 'Your cleaner was confronted with vomit in the toilets this morning...'. The use of the word 'confronted' in that sign was just quite funny. I can imagine a confrontation with many things, but with vomit? Did the vomit have attitude leading up to a confrontation or what? We nicked the sign. We had no choice.
Apparently we also had a Reading member of Parliament here on that night. He got seriously drunk and puked in the toilets quite a few times by all accounts. The warden was walking around asking people if they had seen him later on.
posted by Minzo at 6:40 PM
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