right- so THATS what I've been missing all this time ('people pushing by...and walking off into the night')

I finally went out last night. At some point-walking there alone with a light drizzle making me increasingly wet- the rational part of me was asking some very good questions like why? Why, Minega why? At the entrace, the guy turned me back saying I could only enter with a ticket, so I thought 'Phew! now I can go home...' but then this girl comes running after me and asks if I want a ticket. For some reason I say yes and it turns out she's not using hers so she offers to sell it to me. So against all odds, I find myself inside the club still confused as to how I've ended up here. It seemed like only five minutes ago my life was completely predictable and organized and now here I was in this urban jungle.
And once inside, I buy a beer and wander around looking for my friends (I only manage to find them about fourty-five minutes later) I remember at one point while choking on smoke and trying to walk through thick crowds of people whilst making sure I did not spill my beer, I suddenly thought WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING IN THIS PLACE? In the end it wasnt a terrible night, but club really doesnt do it for me. I just keep thinking of when I can possibly go back home. It was incredibly crowded and there was an air of chaos that was like something from a war film. I felt completely out of place for some reason and I was daydreaming for almost the entire three hours I was there.
But it's quite a sight to see drunk people dance to techno. Almost worth the price of admission alone.
Two beers later- and an hour before closing time- I was finally back in my room eating the muffin and watching TV and thinking this was just a waste of money. Not that I regret going out- one of my life guidelines is to regret nothing- but I both rue and lament it.
And I missed Life in the undergrowth which was dwelling on spiders and believe it or not I really like spiders.