The law wars

Over the last three weeks, a remarkable war has raged between law students entirely by email. It all started harmlessly enough but somehow turned into a proper slanging match and was only ended when the IT department of the university stepped in which is a pity as it had kept me very entertained for weeks. These are the highlights;

LAURENCE: My name is Laurence Lewis and I am conducting an online survey as part of
my third year project. If you would like a chance to win £50 (and help out a stressed 3rd year biological sciences student =)) then click the link below. It is a straight forward opinion survey, is easy to fill out and will only take 10-15 mins of your time.
JACK: No I won't.
RICH:For fuck's sake. If you're going to - Reply to SENDER ONLY. Nobody want six
million shit e-mails in their inbox!
JACK: Youve just proved my point old son. You going to reimburse me the few minutes of my life I wasted looking at
your tripe?
RICH: Apologies,Ironically, that was meant to go to the SENDER only! I am very sorry ifi've upset anyone. I just hate having to trawl through crap and go through
the - delete - purge - task everytime i check my e-mails.Sorry everyone
CRAIG: i love handbags
MARTIN: It's like a deranged forward...just keeps going round and round with nobody
heeding the first instruction. Apologies to all, but I couldn't resist
wading in (ps Craig...handbags have a certain Wildean appeal don't they
lol),
JT: Mr. Mesh once infamously quoted, "Make love, not war"
CRAIG: are you suggesting that we all make love? whilst it's an attractive
proposition, i'm not sure if that's the solution to our problems
lbu05lhs: Count me in! I'm down with that shit!
TIM: Guys and girls as amazing as this email thing is, i will ask one thing: no
more replies -or if you want to please take me off the loop. I do not need
rubbish like this cluttering up my email folder. Don't reply to this email
-if you don't agree then just cut me off the list then carry it on to your
hearts content. Thanks
R.T.AMITH: Theres always one lezza that wants to ruin the fun!!
I think this is a grate way to unite the university! lets all do coffee!!
ANNIE: that would be one hell of a coffee queue
MARTIN: Truly this is becoming one of the maddest strangest chat cum Guinness record
love making / coffee drinking marathon I have ever had the interest and / or
enjoyment of being involuntarily involved with.
CJ: GUYS CHAIN LETTERS/SPAM ETC. GOT BORING ABOUT 8 YEARS AGO BYE GUYS!
SJ: oh my goodness me, please stop my head is going to explode. I keep
thinking I have friends that love me but its all you randomers! please desist with the reply to all, hyporcritical I know!
R.T.SMITH: You ever get that feeling that your heart is crushed? Im not talking about
a cardiovascular symptom here, but a psychological pain. It kills me to see people objecting to the communal email exchange. A day when we share banter between the mail of 'Careers fairs', 'work experience
days', 'essay deadlines' is a day we should rejoyce.
I resent the cunts who object, I disagree with the twats who reject, I
critique the fuckers who deny...I stand united with those who reply!!
Today will no longer be know as a Reading Holiday, but today is the day we
fight for our right to reply....TODAY IS EMAIL REPLY DAY!!! [adaptation of
the presidential speech in independence day] PS Appologies, im pissed!!
MARTIN: Really RT Smith...we'd never have guessed. Pissed at midday or just a slow
delivery system? Shall we come to know...some would wish not I would opine.
Nonetheless it is just a bit of harmless fun and the delete button is but a
click for the uninterested...
DMH: I must say this whole chain email thing is getting very boring!!
Believe it or not i actually have much better things to do on a sunday
afternoon than trawl through hundreds of pointless messages. Like sleeping,
smoking, work even! anything but NOT thisNow im sure this thing was fun at first but maybe, just maybe it is getting
a little old now!!!!!please feel free to carry on with ur little game but remove my name fromthe list if u insist on continuing.
VICKY: RT SMITH FAN CLUB MEETING - /Mondial-Tuesday --- who is in?!?!
R.T.SMITH: Vicky, I appreciate the fan club meeting!! I'm honoured!!
You mite want to mention some of the services I offer at the meeting;
Speech writing
Legal commentator
Morris Dancing teacher
Heterosexual orgies
Pet training
Karoke Pro
Dispute resolution
Waxing
Private eye
Meatloaf critic
and booty call'ist
ZAB: WOah! either Iv just read thru like 50 of them ost hilarious emails ever,
or im tripping out from too much essay work...probs ab it l8 in the crazy
email banter chat thing for people clearly bored out of there minds!...But
im bored now and i want in!! vicky i like your way of thinking, but im not
sure how realistic your suggestion is! As for the makinglove not war thing, whoever suggested we all make love, u might wanna try moving away from this web page and to another that may help your mind to purge that filthy suggestion!
apologies to anyone who wishes to not read these emails
SAM: Seriously people, if you want to drivel on at each other all day use a
forum, that's what they're for. It's just inconsiderate to waste people's time like this
LKU: Take me off your bloody list your doing my head in you bastards!
R.T.SMITH: I think lku05on@reading.ac.uk is a prick an should refrain from calling us
all bastards!! To piss him off more, please continue to send him further
emails.
ZAB: i cant believe the president of the law society would complain about
recieving these life fufiling email...and then advertise the law society
website on his email while doing so...
SAM: Grow up
RJA: Such hostility…
AG: Dear all, I feel the need to inform you that your frequent emails have
wider consequences that you may not realise.Due to HUNREDS of emails ive
had to trawl through during the last week, i have been forced to spend an
obscene amount of time on my computer. This has meant that i have missed
all lectures and tutorials from this week! When i leave Reading uni with a
third because you've all destroyed my will to live, i WILL find you ALL and
BEAT you within an inch of your LIFE! U FUCKING CUNTS!!!! (I hope, with
enough vituperation, someone will get offended n block me!!)Stop being..
(VERY BAD LANGUAGE HERE FOLLOWED BY ABOUT TWENTY 'FUCK OFF's)
Chris: Well someones clearly a twat, if u had a such a bad time reading the first
few why would you carry on reading them all, there are plenty of them
afterall! I think you just wanted a quick moment in the lime light.
Tim: For the last time - please remove all those who wish to be removed if you
want to carry this on. I don't want to be involved and have to remove a lot
of emails from my inbox everyday.Thanks in advance and hopefully i'll never hear from you lot again! Have fun!
ZAB: who the hell is RT smith and how very cunning of u, this is one sexy scheme!
ESU: Please make it stop
R.T.SMITH: May I second all the comments made by supporters of this scheme. And may I
also second the comments made by those regarding Sam Davies.
I wont be revealing my identity as I fear retribution from the critics of
this scheme. But support for the chain emails is grately appreciated.
KEVIN: You are a wanker mate
JAD: TO EVERYONE who finds this hilarious. IT'S NOT. IT'S DAMN ANNOYING. GROW UP!
Jesus Christ.. Anyone'd think this is bloody playschool...
CHRISTINE: As you beg to be removed from the mailing list YOU generated 4 emails that
need not have been sent. The emails flying around are not from one individual so you can't beremoved by each and every person who decides to take advantage of it.
Further, if everyone just stopped asking to be removed from the list from
this omnipresent god, then we would all have significantly less junk emails
in our inboxes to have to delete.
MIRIAM: i dont know who you dudes are or what the fuck this shit is that keeps
turning up in my inbox, but i am not in any damn law soc, i do philosophy,
and can you take me off this list please.
This is tedious
SC: remove me as well
NEIL: I have never known so many thick shits in my life. u can't be taken off the
list,and it is u dick heads asking to be removed that is causing the
problem. every time u email, u send it to everyone.
AMM: Unless my name is removed i have taken legal measures and asked
university administrators to cancel all email addresses invlolved
AL: My God, how retarded are you people? I never knew people could be THIS
bloody stupid!!! How the hell did you get into the University of Reading?
Never mind that, how the hell did you make it past 1st grade??? I'm
serious!
NOBODY IS SPAMMING YOUR INBOXES EXCEPT FOR YOU! TWO PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY
POINTED THIS OUT AND NOW ITS TAKING A THIRD AND IF ANY OF YOU RESPOND AFTER
THIS, YOU NEED TO SERIOUSLY SEEK HELP!
WE HAD ONE OR TWO MESSAGES ABOUT COFFEE AND EVERYTHING ELSE AFTER THOSE
INITIAL MESSAGES HAS BEEN NOTHING MORE THAN PEOPLE ASKING TO BE TAKEN OFF
THE LIST! DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? STOP REPLYING AND ALL WILL BE WELL! FOR
THAT PERSON ABOUT TO TAKE LEGAL ACTION, WHO ARE YOU GOING TO SUE UNDER THE
LAW OF NUISANCE? YOURSELF? BECAUSE YOU ARE PART OF THIS PROBLEM!
STOP REPLYING! I TRULY HOPE NOBODY REPLIES AFTER THIS OR I WILL SERIOUSLY
LOSE All HOPE IN THE FUTURE OF MANKIND!!!
MD: U can keep me on the mailing list if you want you sad bunch of class A
tossers but I think its well sad that you lot are doing this and as it is
royally pissing a lot of people off y dont u just stop it and go back to
watchin teletubbies u fuckin nob jockeys. Hope I havn't offended any1!Peace
and love
AL: BLOODY HELL! Nobody is spamming you! You are all spamming yourselves by
being asked to be taken off the list!Now LISTEN! There were one or two emails about coffee and whatnot and the 200 that followed were people being asked to be taken off the list! Do you not realise that YOU ARE CAUSING THE PROBLEM YOU HATE SO MUCH?
ED: U can keep me on the mailing list if you want you sad bunch of class A
tossers but I think its well sad that you lot are doing this and as it is
royally pissing a lot of people off y dont u just stop it and go back to
watchin teletubbies u fuckin nob jockeys. Hope I havn't offended any1!Peace
and love
RJA: Ed, I feel that you need to purchase a dictionary because it seems that you
have difficulty in spelling the most simplest of words. You are a
university student ( be it a 1st year) and you should be beyond this chav
text speak you use in your email.
Y is actually WHY and any1 is ANYONE. Obviously you are the one who is
watching teletubbies as you are spelling like an infant.
You are obviously not that lazy as you can be arsed to send an email, but
yet you are to lazy to correctly use the english language.
There is a massive building on whiteknights known as a library, I suggest
that you go in there and read some books and familiarise yourself with
english again.
ESU: Please remove as well. I dont know anything about it and i never ask for
it. Please remove me, Thank you! PS:-Im deaf as well.
HELEN: Sorry to anyone who doesn't want to receive this. But please remove me from
the list, as if I receive anymore junk mail, I too will be contacting the
university to take action
CH: Figure I might as well jump on the band-wagon. To Ross "Shadrack" Smith and
all his mates : brilliant. This is hialrious. To whoever sent the message
replying to Ed... IF YOU'RE GOING TO WRITE AN E-MAIL SPECIFICALLY TO TELL
SOMEONE TO USE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE PROPERLY, READ IT THROUGH FOR
MISTAKES!! "you are to lazy to correctly use the english language...."
Um...hate to point it out to you Sexy, but shouldn't that be "TOO lazy?!!?"
Now, pipe down and stop moaning. Spend your time working on the
differentiation between "to" and "too".
IT Services: Dear all, I am fully aware of all the issues you have recently experienced with bulk
email. Most of this email is due to the number of students replying asking for
the email to stop.
I thank all those students that have had restraint and continued to put up with
the excessive number of emails they have been receiving on this list.
Please refrain from sending any further bulk emails. Failure to do so will
result in your University Username being blocked.