The tale of the doomed racer and also the bendy pencil and Fishcotheque

I spent most of Saturday afternoon watching the winter olympics. One might reason that it was a symptom- and an unmistakable one as far as symptoms go- of excessive boredom but you would be wrong as usual. It's addictive viewing- totally absurd and comically silly but entertaining anyway.
The highlight of the proceedings so far was the unfortunate Mark Hatton during the luge. The luge entails lying on a small sled with your head and your legs hanging over the side and then you start by pushing yourself downhill with your hands and then you guide yourself down a long narrow enclosed downhill slope. Obviously you must have severe mental deficiencies to even do something this insane, but it turns out there are quite a few people who would willingly risk their lives in this way.
Anyway our dear friend Mark Hatton- who is representing this great nation in which I currently reside and from where I am launching plans for world domination that already have a blueprint but no sponsor- gets on the sled and whoosh down he went. Then halfway something goes wrong and he gets knocked off his sled. he got up and began to kind of walk around it wondering what on earth he was going to do now. He had to get himself back on it and then push himself down for a few seconds until he could start sliding again but for those few seconds when things got fucked up, he was quite a sight. The look on his face was priceless. I could see him thinking 'Here I am sliding down a mile long narrow concrete path on a sled that barely covers half my body at 70 m/hr and now I look like an utter idiot fucking things up halfway- was this really a wise idea?' Needless to say he did not win any medals.
And then there's figure skating. Opera on ice is what it is- so melodramatic but graceful and unlike opera nobody gets stabbed and sings a profound but cheesy song before they expire. There is no blood here or window-shattering voices, but dodgy music, graceful dancing and wonderful outfits not to mention stupendous tricks. When you see a guy toss a woman into the air and then grab her and hold her above his head WHILE SKATING IN A CIRCLE TO SOME MUSIC then you have to say- "respect"

Jurisprudence today: The bendy, wobbly magic pencil, whether poison is effective in dealing with relationship problems, am I becoming a feminist?, stage 2 and 3, the flower, moon and snowflake argument.


"But it could work see- they go in and party for most of the night and then buy fish on the way out. You've got people who want to go out and have a good time and people who want to go and buy fish- why don't you put the two together?"
"But then it's got to be the whole package- you don't want to have people coming in and then not doing any partying but just buying some fish and taking off. That would be wrong"
"Yeah you would need rules to keep the system from collapsing"
"And you could also have people who do the club thing but not get any fish which would again miss the point"
"It could work"