How many monkeys and how many typewriters?

First of all, a reminder that the caption contest ends tomorrow afternoon and I will announce the winner tomorrow evening so make a contribution! So far Ray is winning by default...
Anyway I received a forward recently from Tesi with questions that is supposed to show a lot about you by asking you about mundande details of your life. I sent it to my friends and Romain- a friend from France- sent one so funny that I have to post excerpts here. Beware: Rated R for very strong language!

What time do you get up?
A:depends who I am with (or without) if it's a whale asap, if it's a beauty I'll get up tomorrow...

-. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
A: "I want to fuck u hard" or "Nemo's World" I don't really remember, I kinda mix up the two

-Favorite TV show(s)
A: Simpsons, Seinfeld, Friends, and if anybody wants to talk about that big old shit called "Neighboors" or something like that I'll cut off his balls and I'll eat them with mayonnaise.

-What color is your bathroom?
A:what kind of question is that? Do you watch your poo afterwards? that's a good question!

-Where were you born?
A: Toulouse, France: A star is born and nobody is aware

-Are you a morning person or a night owl?
A: what kind of morning are u talking about? the sun up and all that shit? ain't lying man,I don't know that

-What is your shoe size?
A: I've heard it's proportionnal to the size of the cock so big, very big, huge in fact

-What is your next big goal or objective in your life?
A: to be the legitimate owner of a king size bed

-What food do you NOT like?
A: Pastis 51 (it's not food but it counts I've checked with the referee)

-Who do you least expect to send this back to you?
A: You, bitch I knew u had nothing to do and no work but this way too far man...

-Favorite sport?
A: Kama Sutra