Long distance relationships

Here was my response to Raymond's long distance relationship article -
http://raymondsbliss.blogspot.com

Jesus Raymond I had no idea you were that far gone!
Having read the choir boy’s moving but incredibly sappy ode to his girlfriend, I suddenly have renewed faith in humanity. The man is twenty but he is making wedding arrangements- if this gets any sappier Julia Roberts will be involved!
So now I have to write my own relationship-affirming, Mills-and Boon baiting Cliché-ridden reply and I will start it off by saying that much as I love my girlfriend, I have not yet picked out the church furnishings yet.
You see Raymond has set the bar pretty high and in steering clear of most clichés (a very admirable effort negotiating that minefield by the way, a pat on the back is absolutely essential) he is leaving me with no choice but to clear the minefield myself. It won’t be pretty.
Unlike our focused friend, I did not enter this whole thing looking for a bride. You can say I lack ambition if you may, but I entered the whole thing with about as much grace as Abe Simpson with a wedgie. One day I just woke up and realized I was madly in love and that I had a few squatters in my stomach- butterflies. I got out of bed and began to hop on first one foot and then another because I really desperately needed to tell her and also I needed to go to the toilet.
Anyway let’s make a big jump- a few phone calls later, I found myself in the kind of thing that most guys dread and how did I take it? Did I run screaming into the night? No (a quick and sure death would have followed anyway- pedestrians are a minor inconvenience on Kigali roads like dragonflies or sidewalks) Did I stand my ground like a man and face the new dawn in my life? Erm…no again. However what I DID do was make a commitment- A vow to stay faithful and prove to her that even if I was posted to Mallorca, I would keep Bruce Almighty in his pants. It has been my fundamental ethos ever since.
But what everyone wants to know is: is it really worth it? What is it about her that makes you suddenly become no better than a married man? What kind of woman would make a guy travel a thousand miles away from her and give monks a run for their money (well- seeing as they have no possessions, lets just say give them a run) Why on earth am I taking such a huge gamble? Why is She taking such a huge gamble?
The answer of course is that neither of us knows. While the very existence of undying love is still hotly debated today, for some of us it is an article of faith. How do I know I’m really in love? Because I can feel it and that’s good enough for me. Because No one makes me feel the way she makes me feel. Because I wake up every morning aching for her. Because it is the first time in my life I have thought of marriage in a favourable light. No, I am not feeling unwell as I write this neither am I under the influence of any intoxicant so help me God. It is the honest truth- I can see myself spending the rest of my life with her and that just about says it all.
Raymond will no doubt be delighted that much as I protested in the intro to this article, I have still wandered blithely into the I-want-to-marry-her argument, but I am too caught up in the moment. It’s sunny skies for my parade!
So as me and Raymond try to navigate the treacherous waters of a long-distance relationship, it is reassuring for me to know that there are people like him out there to keep me strong which is more than most of my friends have been doing (I have heard almost every single variation of the ‘area code’ argument and yes, boys crossing a sea DOES NOT MAKE A DIFFERENCE) At the end of the day, I know it is a gamble that will pay off. If it doesn’t, the store that gave me that crystal ball will have hell to pay.