hey man, now you're really living
I have decided to go for the Easter formal dinner.
This being the first formal I will attend in my three years at Wantage, it marks a historic moment. The truth was I didnt have a suit jacket so previously it was a good enough excuse to dodge the formal dinners, but after Vid offered to lend me one I eventually relented. This is how I found myself standing in the blistering cold at 8.20 am this morning lining up for a ticket. Looks like I am actually going to go through with this.
And we are currently having hall elections so the place is covered with posters some of which are funny but many of which try and fail desperately. Some of the funny ones: James running for librarian promising to 'expand the sex toys and porno collection', the woman running for International rep has a series of ads from people all over the world including one which says 'Chris from the Carribean is voting for Mei- are you?' since when was the Carribean a country? another guy lists one of his qualities as 'being able to count bricks'. This should be interesting...
Fernando Morientes.
What happens when your club sings a striker who...erm..CANT SCORE GOALS? There are few sadder sights in football today than watching Fernando Morientes trying to recapture his past glory at Liverpool. The man looks like he couldn't score in a brothel in Thailand on a New year's eve if he had an American Express card taped to his forehead. What on earth happened to him? Forget all the other big mysteries in life- when did Morientes suddenly become shit? How much work did he put in the training ground to learn how to shoot or head directly at the goalie everytime he gets the ball? Please Rafa, please get rid of him now.
Random moments from the week:
So this girl- who shall not be named- walks into the dining hall. No one in the group really likes her so Q starts getting up to go "If she comes here, I'm fucking leaving" is how she put it.
"No- dont go!" Vid says in desperation "If you do, I'll be an easy target!" it gets a big laugh and thankfully for all, the girl sits somewhere else. Vid is talking as if he is some kind of rogue spy marked for assasination by his own government. This is not true.
This girl eventually crops up again later in the conversation when someone asks Quena who she would save if her cat and the girl were hanging off a cliff and she could only save one of them. "My cat of course!" She says instantly and no one can quite believe their ears.
"Well what is she going to contribute to society?" Quena asks and she actually has to cover her mouth to stop herself from digging an even deeper hole. Sometimes once people get going, it's hard for them to stop.
"Well your cat doesn't contribute anything except a poo every morning and night" Vid retorts "I can't believe you Quena- wer'e talking about another human being here"
It's hard to tell just how serious she is.
Leo talking about a krispy Kreme donut: "It's heaven...orgasmic...put it in the microwave for seven seconds..EXACTLY seven seconds not a millisecond less and then....ohhhhhh....I'll never forget my first time..." He got some odd looks, especially since he was making a face very similar to the one Meg Ryan made famous in When Harry met Sally
And another of those only-at-the-table conversations(I think everyone's brain just switches off at dinner really): what superpower would you have if you could choose one? Louisa said the power of flight and I agreed but Leo didn't.
"What's the point? It's freezing up there anyway. I'll tell you what would really be cool-invisibility"
Well it has its upsides I guess, but is is really particularily necessary?
"Yeah because then you could just walk into a place and take something"
Hang on- are you saying you would use your new-found superpowers to steal stuff? What the hell kind of superhero would that make you?
"Maybe" I suggested "Instead you could become some kind of robin Hood- steal stuff from the rich and then give it to the poor people"
Leo thinks about this for a few seconds.
Then he says "Now that would just be pointless"
This being the first formal I will attend in my three years at Wantage, it marks a historic moment. The truth was I didnt have a suit jacket so previously it was a good enough excuse to dodge the formal dinners, but after Vid offered to lend me one I eventually relented. This is how I found myself standing in the blistering cold at 8.20 am this morning lining up for a ticket. Looks like I am actually going to go through with this.
And we are currently having hall elections so the place is covered with posters some of which are funny but many of which try and fail desperately. Some of the funny ones: James running for librarian promising to 'expand the sex toys and porno collection', the woman running for International rep has a series of ads from people all over the world including one which says 'Chris from the Carribean is voting for Mei- are you?' since when was the Carribean a country? another guy lists one of his qualities as 'being able to count bricks'. This should be interesting...
Fernando Morientes.
What happens when your club sings a striker who...erm..CANT SCORE GOALS? There are few sadder sights in football today than watching Fernando Morientes trying to recapture his past glory at Liverpool. The man looks like he couldn't score in a brothel in Thailand on a New year's eve if he had an American Express card taped to his forehead. What on earth happened to him? Forget all the other big mysteries in life- when did Morientes suddenly become shit? How much work did he put in the training ground to learn how to shoot or head directly at the goalie everytime he gets the ball? Please Rafa, please get rid of him now.
Random moments from the week:
So this girl- who shall not be named- walks into the dining hall. No one in the group really likes her so Q starts getting up to go "If she comes here, I'm fucking leaving" is how she put it.
"No- dont go!" Vid says in desperation "If you do, I'll be an easy target!" it gets a big laugh and thankfully for all, the girl sits somewhere else. Vid is talking as if he is some kind of rogue spy marked for assasination by his own government. This is not true.
This girl eventually crops up again later in the conversation when someone asks Quena who she would save if her cat and the girl were hanging off a cliff and she could only save one of them. "My cat of course!" She says instantly and no one can quite believe their ears.
"Well what is she going to contribute to society?" Quena asks and she actually has to cover her mouth to stop herself from digging an even deeper hole. Sometimes once people get going, it's hard for them to stop.
"Well your cat doesn't contribute anything except a poo every morning and night" Vid retorts "I can't believe you Quena- wer'e talking about another human being here"
It's hard to tell just how serious she is.
Leo talking about a krispy Kreme donut: "It's heaven...orgasmic...put it in the microwave for seven seconds..EXACTLY seven seconds not a millisecond less and then....ohhhhhh....I'll never forget my first time..." He got some odd looks, especially since he was making a face very similar to the one Meg Ryan made famous in When Harry met Sally
And another of those only-at-the-table conversations(I think everyone's brain just switches off at dinner really): what superpower would you have if you could choose one? Louisa said the power of flight and I agreed but Leo didn't.
"What's the point? It's freezing up there anyway. I'll tell you what would really be cool-invisibility"
Well it has its upsides I guess, but is is really particularily necessary?
"Yeah because then you could just walk into a place and take something"
Hang on- are you saying you would use your new-found superpowers to steal stuff? What the hell kind of superhero would that make you?
"Maybe" I suggested "Instead you could become some kind of robin Hood- steal stuff from the rich and then give it to the poor people"
Leo thinks about this for a few seconds.
Then he says "Now that would just be pointless"
posted by Minzo at 9:05 PM
1 Comments:
you really slugged fernando,and invisibility is just the coolest gift,it's true,freaking cold in the stratosphere!
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