late night TV
If you stay up to 4am like I do every night, you can get trapped in the surreal world of late-night TV.
The Jeremy Kyle show: I can only watch this in ten-minute periods because it is quite honestly disturbing. It's like Jerry Springer with an extra creepiness factor. Kyle gets the usual dregs of humanity- MY HUSBAND HAD AN AFFAIR AND MOVED IN WITH HIS MISTRESS BUT WE STILL HAVE SEX AND NOW SHE WANTS HIM BACK AND SO DO I- and tries to sort out their problems when in fact Jesus himself would tear out his hair trying to deal with them. What stands out in this show is the fact that the host himself is the most disturbing person on the show. I'm not saying Jeremy Kyle is the anti-Christ-there's too many people competing for that competition in the 21st century and some have smarter suits- but you get the feeling that the man is evil and if you sprinkled holy water on him, he would probably scream and melt before your eyes. It doesn't matter how many dodgy people he brings on, Kyle is always the one who makes you want to hide under the covers or change the channel. He is just so creepy and devious and insincere that the show should come with an 18 rating. Honestly It's a wonder I dont get bad dreams after watching this.
Dr Tatiana's sex Guide to all creation: I've seen this before, but watching the re-runs on channel 4 makes me realize that this is one of the maddest things that has ever been put on TV even by channel 4 standards. The concept is an exploration of the weird sex lives of other creatures in the animal kingdom and trust me there is some weird shit going on out there. The show doesn't hold back with its vision-they get people to dress up as the creatures being discussed and then talk to Dr Tatiana to tell her their problems and then Dr Tatiana addresses the cameras and explains that yes ladybirds are sluts and some marine slugs are haemephrodites and many primates are bisexual and you wouldn't even believe what that wasp is up to. You get scenes like a chat-show full of people with painted faces pretending to be various animals and insects cheering and booing- its absolutely insane. There has been nothing quite like it since and I've got to give Dr Tatiana kudos for supervising this madness and almost keeping a straight face.
BBC News 24: From midnight onwards, BBC 2 presents the news all night and it reminds you that if the world hasn't quite gone down the toilet yet, it is at least trying its dammn best to cram itself down that hole and has got its hands firmly on the flush handle. Bombings, bird flu, corruption, murder, global warming...it's all going wrong and not in that cool film-thriller way. A friend of mine once said she doesn't watch or read news because its so depressing. She had a point- after a few minutes of this kind of coverage, you start looking longingly around the room for something to strangle yourself with. The newsreaders don't make things any better- at least smile woman! The world might be going to hell in a handbasket but thats no excuse to look so glum. Save that expression for when bird flu comes to get you.
Quizmania:What the hell is this about? I still don't quite know. Everytime I tune in to ITV after 1am, its always on and there's a middle-aged man with glasses, flashing numbers and colours and I just can't figure it out. Is this show exclusively for people who are high on mushrooms? Do you need so many flashing lights and bright colours?
The Jeremy Kyle show: I can only watch this in ten-minute periods because it is quite honestly disturbing. It's like Jerry Springer with an extra creepiness factor. Kyle gets the usual dregs of humanity- MY HUSBAND HAD AN AFFAIR AND MOVED IN WITH HIS MISTRESS BUT WE STILL HAVE SEX AND NOW SHE WANTS HIM BACK AND SO DO I- and tries to sort out their problems when in fact Jesus himself would tear out his hair trying to deal with them. What stands out in this show is the fact that the host himself is the most disturbing person on the show. I'm not saying Jeremy Kyle is the anti-Christ-there's too many people competing for that competition in the 21st century and some have smarter suits- but you get the feeling that the man is evil and if you sprinkled holy water on him, he would probably scream and melt before your eyes. It doesn't matter how many dodgy people he brings on, Kyle is always the one who makes you want to hide under the covers or change the channel. He is just so creepy and devious and insincere that the show should come with an 18 rating. Honestly It's a wonder I dont get bad dreams after watching this.
Dr Tatiana's sex Guide to all creation: I've seen this before, but watching the re-runs on channel 4 makes me realize that this is one of the maddest things that has ever been put on TV even by channel 4 standards. The concept is an exploration of the weird sex lives of other creatures in the animal kingdom and trust me there is some weird shit going on out there. The show doesn't hold back with its vision-they get people to dress up as the creatures being discussed and then talk to Dr Tatiana to tell her their problems and then Dr Tatiana addresses the cameras and explains that yes ladybirds are sluts and some marine slugs are haemephrodites and many primates are bisexual and you wouldn't even believe what that wasp is up to. You get scenes like a chat-show full of people with painted faces pretending to be various animals and insects cheering and booing- its absolutely insane. There has been nothing quite like it since and I've got to give Dr Tatiana kudos for supervising this madness and almost keeping a straight face.
BBC News 24: From midnight onwards, BBC 2 presents the news all night and it reminds you that if the world hasn't quite gone down the toilet yet, it is at least trying its dammn best to cram itself down that hole and has got its hands firmly on the flush handle. Bombings, bird flu, corruption, murder, global warming...it's all going wrong and not in that cool film-thriller way. A friend of mine once said she doesn't watch or read news because its so depressing. She had a point- after a few minutes of this kind of coverage, you start looking longingly around the room for something to strangle yourself with. The newsreaders don't make things any better- at least smile woman! The world might be going to hell in a handbasket but thats no excuse to look so glum. Save that expression for when bird flu comes to get you.
Quizmania:What the hell is this about? I still don't quite know. Everytime I tune in to ITV after 1am, its always on and there's a middle-aged man with glasses, flashing numbers and colours and I just can't figure it out. Is this show exclusively for people who are high on mushrooms? Do you need so many flashing lights and bright colours?
posted by Minzo at 11:00 PM
1 Comments:
that was a freaking great post , hands down, i bow in your honour!
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