just because you feel it, doesnt mean its there

There's a little squirrel that lives in the tree right outside my window. On Thursday, I was watching it run up and down the tree with little bits of leaves in its teeth and I realized that it was building a nest. It's making very good progress as well. Squirrels are almost annoyingly cute.
But anyway, something happened to me the other day that reminded me-incase I ever forget- that I am quite dumb. Sometimes I buy donuts at this indian man's shop because at the end of the day, he sells them at 10pence each which is a bloody good deal if ever there was one. So there was some wrapping on the side and I just took the donuts and wrapped them up in them wondering why they didn't give me an actual bag and thinking the wrapping was a bit too narrow for donuts. It turns out the wrapping was indeed a bag- if you slit it at the top, you could slide the donuts in. For about three nights in a row I had been making a fool of myself and the guy who was usually at the counter didn't even tell me anything but this guy did. Imagine putting things on a kavera instead of inside and you have an idea of the level of stupidity involved here. The man was chuckling a bit ('No my friend, you do it like this...') I imagine they had quite a laugh about it because I did.
Recently a friend of mine who is in a dead-end relationship with his girlfriend received a text message from her. it was routine, just asking how he was doing and all that. My friend was horrified. She's going to call me back as soon as I reply! He said How do I reply in such a way that she'll get the picture and not call me? We were watching a film and he was exhausted and the last thing he wanted to do was talk to his girlfriend. He drafted the message and showed it to me, but he had made a critical mistake- he had finished with a question. Listen, do you want her to call you back or what? I told him there was a little trick that could sort that out: put a question in the middle of the text message and then finish off by saying something like 'im going to bed'. That way, she won't really be able to reply since the question has been superseded by a firm closing statement and she won't be able to call because you will be showing clear hints that you are about to go to sleep. He thought that was a good idea, but somehow ended up sending the original message and sure enough she called him back and he gave me a look of utter horror when his phone started ringing. It was when he was talking to her that I realized that I had just spent the better part of ten minutes helping my friend freeze out his girlfriend by trying to craft the perfect dont-reply-or-call text message. Surely there was something wrong with that somehow.....
What I find really funny (well, funny is a relative concept here) about my friends' situation is that he's broken up with his girlfriend but she doesn't know it yet. It's happened in his mind and now he's just waiting for it to manifest itself in the real world.
Team America: Really, really funny film. The Cairo sequence is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life, but it does run out of steam at the end. Still worth a view.