I will almost certainly wander off topic: another world cup day
A true story: Willie Johnston- who used to play for Scotland back in the day- once sold his shed while taking a corner. He was lining up the ball when this guy in the crowd shouts out 'Hey Willie I hear your'e selling your shed!". Johnston said he was indeed selling it. The guy shouted back that he wanted to buy it and they haggled over the price. By the time he took his corner, he had sold his shed.
Which brings me somehow to the England game today against Trinidad and Tobago. It was a poor performance, make no mistake. Did you know that Owen was playing in the game ? yes, he was- I swear it. You didn't see him? neither did I, but I'm absolutely sure he was there because I saw his name on the teamsheet at the start of the game. Whether he sneaked off the pitch to maybe get a few games in on his Xbox, I don't know but little Mickey didn't actually seem to be present at all. I noticed him only once in the game, and that was when he missed the easiest chance of the match blazing a rebound over. Thankfully England finally grabbed two goals in the last 6 minutes first with a Crouch header (and for a man of his size he really should be scoring more headers) and then a Stevie.G. special.
It was a very nervous win. Despite his goal, I don't think Crouch is international quality. He is better than people give him credit for- he certainly holds the ball up well and his passing is often very good- but he really should not be in the starting XI. Eriksson not bringing Defoe was an incredibly stupid decision. He still hasn't thrown on Walcott, so why on earth is he in the team? Meanwhile I watched the game in a student restaurant on campus and I was suprised to discover that at least half the spectators were girls. The difference between the female and male spectators was clear- the women watched silently and quietly, cheering on in a civilized way while the men made stupid jokes and shouted 'wanker!' everytime an English player misplaced a pass. It's scary to think that it is men who control the world's nuclear weaponry.
The shit-that-must-hurt-like-hell-I'm-glad-its-you-not-me award goes to Dwight Yorke who took a thunderous strike straight into his manhood. I can't imagine the pain-or indeed the shame of having to constantly check on it every two seconds infront of about a billion viewers. The shot was from Stevie.G mind you. The last thing you want to do is take a Stevie.G. strike straight in the balls. It will ruin your day, make no mistake.
Relief of the day: Seeing Wayne Rooney come on. Yes I know he is not match-fit, but the man is a footballing genius, no two ways about it. Even a half-fit Wayne Rooney will make me sleep better at night.
Man of the match: Aaron Lennon only came on about twenty minutes in the second half, but he was the best player on the pitch. This shouldn't suprise anyone who saw him torture defences for Tottenham in the Premier League, but the guy is quality. He took on and beat almost every player
Prediction: I still think Joe Cole will end the tournament as England's best player if they make any sort of impact.
On an almost unrelated note, has anyone in this country noticed that God save the queen is an awful name for an anthem? Its a NATIONAL anthem and you spend most of it asking God to make sure the queen is alright- what the fuck? Release a song then and sell it but a national anthem? Keep in mind that the queen hardly needs praying for. Who sat down and thought- lets write a national anthem and write it FOR THE RICHEST AND MOST PRIVILEGED PERSON IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY. It's nuts. And save her from what anyway? I've been taking an interest in other countries national anthems recently and I was very intrigued by the Paraguay one which lasted about ten minutes the day they played England. I will post my reflections on other anthems some other time.
-Germany vs Poland: The biggest struggle I faced watching this game was trying not to make any jokes about the history between these two teams. It's a struggle I lost eventually, but I tried. When you see German players swarming all over the Poland defence in the box trying to get the goal, how can you not supress a naughty voice in your head that reminds you of 1939? Wrong I know. Infact this entire world cup has created a bit of a crisis in England. The question they are asking themselves is-how do we keep from making world war two jokes and references? If we do, we look thoughtless and insensitive. If we don't, we will just pass over too many easy jokes and we may regret this on our deathbed.
There is a fantastic scene in the TV seriesFamily Guy when a tour guide is taking Brian Griffin the talking dog through Munich and he leaves out a few things. Brian challenges him on a German pamphlet that leaves out the years 1939-1945
"Everyone was on holiday" the guide says.
Stewie says "But you invaded Poland in 1939"
The guide's response is one of the highlights of the entire show "We didn't invade- we vas invited! Punch vas served! Check with Poland!" classic.
-Serbia and Montenegro are giving the headline writers a field day. Before their game against the Nerthelands, I saw a headline that said DUTCH READY FOR S&M. Surely we can go through the entire tournament without getting a mental image of Ruud Van Nistelrooy's sex habits? And someone said Arjen Robben runs like a girl and I think I agree with it. He is quick-make no mistake- but he does run like a girl.
A propos the Spain-Ukraine game, I forgot to mention the wonder of the fourth goal. Someone once said that football is 'poetry in motion' and if you saw that goal, you would nod vigorously. Wordsworth would have been inspired by the wonderous movement and passing that led to Torres burying the ball in the net. It's the best team goal of the tournament so far- if I was Spanish, I would have wept at the glories my motherland was serving up for me. However the Spanish do not always have the best aesthetic tastes. This is a country that thinks bullfighting is cool by the way- its not! How old are you guys, twelve? Leave the dammn bull alone and get a proper hobby.
Which brings me somehow to the England game today against Trinidad and Tobago. It was a poor performance, make no mistake. Did you know that Owen was playing in the game ? yes, he was- I swear it. You didn't see him? neither did I, but I'm absolutely sure he was there because I saw his name on the teamsheet at the start of the game. Whether he sneaked off the pitch to maybe get a few games in on his Xbox, I don't know but little Mickey didn't actually seem to be present at all. I noticed him only once in the game, and that was when he missed the easiest chance of the match blazing a rebound over. Thankfully England finally grabbed two goals in the last 6 minutes first with a Crouch header (and for a man of his size he really should be scoring more headers) and then a Stevie.G. special.
It was a very nervous win. Despite his goal, I don't think Crouch is international quality. He is better than people give him credit for- he certainly holds the ball up well and his passing is often very good- but he really should not be in the starting XI. Eriksson not bringing Defoe was an incredibly stupid decision. He still hasn't thrown on Walcott, so why on earth is he in the team? Meanwhile I watched the game in a student restaurant on campus and I was suprised to discover that at least half the spectators were girls. The difference between the female and male spectators was clear- the women watched silently and quietly, cheering on in a civilized way while the men made stupid jokes and shouted 'wanker!' everytime an English player misplaced a pass. It's scary to think that it is men who control the world's nuclear weaponry.
The shit-that-must-hurt-like-hell-I'm-glad-its-you-not-me award goes to Dwight Yorke who took a thunderous strike straight into his manhood. I can't imagine the pain-or indeed the shame of having to constantly check on it every two seconds infront of about a billion viewers. The shot was from Stevie.G mind you. The last thing you want to do is take a Stevie.G. strike straight in the balls. It will ruin your day, make no mistake.
Relief of the day: Seeing Wayne Rooney come on. Yes I know he is not match-fit, but the man is a footballing genius, no two ways about it. Even a half-fit Wayne Rooney will make me sleep better at night.
Man of the match: Aaron Lennon only came on about twenty minutes in the second half, but he was the best player on the pitch. This shouldn't suprise anyone who saw him torture defences for Tottenham in the Premier League, but the guy is quality. He took on and beat almost every player
Prediction: I still think Joe Cole will end the tournament as England's best player if they make any sort of impact.
On an almost unrelated note, has anyone in this country noticed that God save the queen is an awful name for an anthem? Its a NATIONAL anthem and you spend most of it asking God to make sure the queen is alright- what the fuck? Release a song then and sell it but a national anthem? Keep in mind that the queen hardly needs praying for. Who sat down and thought- lets write a national anthem and write it FOR THE RICHEST AND MOST PRIVILEGED PERSON IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY. It's nuts. And save her from what anyway? I've been taking an interest in other countries national anthems recently and I was very intrigued by the Paraguay one which lasted about ten minutes the day they played England. I will post my reflections on other anthems some other time.
-Germany vs Poland: The biggest struggle I faced watching this game was trying not to make any jokes about the history between these two teams. It's a struggle I lost eventually, but I tried. When you see German players swarming all over the Poland defence in the box trying to get the goal, how can you not supress a naughty voice in your head that reminds you of 1939? Wrong I know. Infact this entire world cup has created a bit of a crisis in England. The question they are asking themselves is-how do we keep from making world war two jokes and references? If we do, we look thoughtless and insensitive. If we don't, we will just pass over too many easy jokes and we may regret this on our deathbed.
There is a fantastic scene in the TV seriesFamily Guy when a tour guide is taking Brian Griffin the talking dog through Munich and he leaves out a few things. Brian challenges him on a German pamphlet that leaves out the years 1939-1945
"Everyone was on holiday" the guide says.
Stewie says "But you invaded Poland in 1939"
The guide's response is one of the highlights of the entire show "We didn't invade- we vas invited! Punch vas served! Check with Poland!" classic.
-Serbia and Montenegro are giving the headline writers a field day. Before their game against the Nerthelands, I saw a headline that said DUTCH READY FOR S&M. Surely we can go through the entire tournament without getting a mental image of Ruud Van Nistelrooy's sex habits? And someone said Arjen Robben runs like a girl and I think I agree with it. He is quick-make no mistake- but he does run like a girl.
A propos the Spain-Ukraine game, I forgot to mention the wonder of the fourth goal. Someone once said that football is 'poetry in motion' and if you saw that goal, you would nod vigorously. Wordsworth would have been inspired by the wonderous movement and passing that led to Torres burying the ball in the net. It's the best team goal of the tournament so far- if I was Spanish, I would have wept at the glories my motherland was serving up for me. However the Spanish do not always have the best aesthetic tastes. This is a country that thinks bullfighting is cool by the way- its not! How old are you guys, twelve? Leave the dammn bull alone and get a proper hobby.
posted by Minzo at 8:36 PM
2 Comments:
i think the reason to stay up late watching the matches just went away.
okay, am all set for my day, after my morning fix.
The answer to your question 'god save the queen from what?' is, insultingly, the Scots, since the dirge was written in the 18th Century during the 1745/6 Jacobite rebellion and contains the words:
Lord, grant that Marshal Wade,
May by thy mighty aid,
Victory bring.
May he sedition hush and like a torrent rush,
Rebellious Scots to crush,
God save the King.
Is it a wonder we don't like to hear it sung?
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