rocking in the mud and the almost funny German girl

I wish I was at Glastonbury right now. I was watching it on TV the other night and Coldplay were performing and they were amazing. It was very surreal however to see Chris Martin suddenly start singing 'Cant get you out of my head' which he dedicated to 'my absent friend Kylie'. It came out sounding good suprisingly enough. very good-he did it in a rock-ish way playing the piano while Jonny Buckland accompanied him on the guitar. Still, fighting the mud wouldnt have been sexy. Apparently about a month's worth of rain fell there in about seven hours on the opening day so everyone was waking up knee-deep in mud and spent most of the day getting to know it better. Perhaps this was God's way of objecting to the Kaiser Chiefs being in the line-up.

At the dinner table tonight, I was thinking I'm really going to miss meal-time because that's usually where most things happen. I had dinner with Matt, Chris and Constance and we were talking about life post-uni. I was looking across the room (I had wandered out of the conversation by this point, but I assume nobody was missing me)and I saw the German girl sitting by herself in the corner. She occasionaly comes to sit with us but hardly ever utters a word unless you talk to her, and even then she talks in ten-second bursts . She's quite shy and very serious. She loosened up a bit towards the end of the term and actually started talking a bit. Anyway what I suddenly remembered when I saw her was the quantum leap that came about two weeks ago when she suddenly made a joke in the midst of one of her rare short, quiet monologues. I was in shock. I looked around the table wildly trying to see if anyone had noticed the significance of what had just happened (SHE JUST MADE A JOKE PEOPLE!) but everyone else was playing around with their peas and missed the moment- or at least I think they did. Maybe they had the same thought in their heads. It reminded me also of another German girl last year who was equally economical with words. She always hang around an Italian girl who was even quieter if that is possible (which it was). The two of them always sat together and only God knows what conversation was like on that table. It made me wonder what it would be like to have that kind of friendship- two people who harldy ever say a word but hang out together all the time. There was something charming in the idea.

Everytime I walk into a shop and see someone above 40 at the counter, I groan inwardly. My accent has given me quite a bit of grief in the shops around here, but almost always when there are old people involved. The whole thing descends into a kind of Kafka-esque nightmare of me repeating words and getting blank looks. It happened to me again when I went to get pictures developed for a friend of mine yesterday. The woman kept mishearing everything I said and then wrote down my friend's name wrongly even after I spelled it at least three times. As Churchill almost-but never quite- said "We shall fight on the pronounciation and we shall fight on the tone...we shall never surrender"

coming home

So anyway we are leaving on Thursday and much as this year has been an absolute ball, I'm delighted to be going back. I can't wait to see the kids again. You see, once I go back home I completely become a kid again and I dont mean that loosely. Either I'm outside playing with the kids or I'm inside watching cartoons with them and getting completely involved in both. Heck, I even occasionally laugh at 'Scooby Doo' which is saying a lot. Infact last time around, I watched so many cartoons with them that I started dreaming in cartoons which was obviously a bit disconcerting. As for the games, they are a combination of several that have been combined to form a supergame. For example, we have power rangers-ninja-soccer-teacher-football which suprisingly can be a single game. Yes it's possible. For example, you could have a situation where Biganza is the teacher and I'm her student (she is very enthusiastic with the stick- I hope that's not a bad sign) when Gaaga suddenly emerges with a sword and lets out a Ninja yell so that the game suddenly becomes Ninjas in the classroom. Here again there is room for more creativity- a soccer game will suddenly break out so that you will have three Ninjas in the classroom playing football. It's great fun.
I really can't wait to be a kid again....

law, death of Henmania and ghost visitors

I got my results today and I did well. It was only a 2:2, which isnt really all that actually, but the one module I thought I might have to re-sit ended up being my second highest score. Go figure! As my brother might (very crudely) put it, I made equity and trusts 'totally my bitch'. I'm absolutely delighted anyway- now I can have a full holiday back home without having it cut short.

The dream dies again- Henman got kicked out yesterday and the country has gone back to mourning mode. However Andrew Murray getting through at least means there is a silver lining in this dark cloud. I really hope Murray at least makes it as far as the quaters- that will be awesome for British tennis.

Raymond added a meter on this site about two days ago, and I checked in twenty-four hours afterwards and saw that I had got 40 hits! I'm a bit mystified-Only about fifteen people I actually know come to this site and about five or six other people I met through blogging. Now of this number, only about half of each group comes here regularily. If you do the maths, it means there are roughly thirty mysterious hits so we'll say that's about twenty-five real 'ghost visitors'. I'm puzzled...

I found clarity, but it slapped me with a wet fish

So where do we go from here? The holidays has given me plenty of time to think in between all the lying-around-and-doing-nothingness. What happens when I graduate? it's a year away I know, but still! I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with my life and while that should not really be worrying for someone whose idea of maturity is taking the milk out of the fridge before it expires, I still feel that I should have that all sorted. Baruch Spinoza said we should look at everything in the context of eternity, but that's really not much help to me right now. It does make my worries fairly trivial, but that is not going to advance my cause. Also I will never achieve total enlightenment at this rate. Breath slowly. More applejuice?

"Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans" John Lennon.

Thanks to Raymond for installing the meter on my site. I sent the bananas in the post as thanks for your toil. I hope they reach you in ripe condition.

There was a waterfight in the lawn today. These English can actually loosen up when they set their mind to it. It was fun to watch, but I prefered my clothes dry. The heat is still out- I could get used to this!

One crazie gone- a sad farewell

Wimbledon is on and the country is once again going through its annual ritual- getting behind Tim Henman and believing that THIS year he's definitely going to win. Yes the pigs have been well fed and are now ready to fly.We've been here for years, but to be fair when you have the hopes of an entire country on your shoulders it's a bit of a bitch. Today he very nearly got kicked out in the very first round- he was two sets down before he woke up and finally clawed his way back. Very entertaining game- I was practically screaming in the final set. Still I'll join in with the rest of the country and cheer myself hoarse for Tim. It's going to be a great two weeks with the tennis. And the sun has decided to stick around for a few extra days which is brilliant.

Ezra- that was a very disturbing email you sent me! For the love of God don't do that again! Don't you want me to sleep at night? Gwe, be serious!

Mez left yesterday. It was so sudden that everyone was kind of bewildered and only got emotional a bit late on. We kind of sat around reminiscing about the crazy year we had gone through as a group during which we discovered that most of us need therapy and many many stiff drinks to sort our shit out. There was a lot of reflection serious and otherwise about how uni had changed us and how we had changed each other. Mez gave a very moving speech before we helped her carry her stuff to the car about how grateful she was to have had friends like us in her final year and how much she had enjoyed hanging out. There was a serious danger of tissue making an appearance, but everyone kept it together and we waved her off. Needless to say, we were a bit depressed afterwards. I was thinking of the coffees and the Woody Allen conversations and the late-nighters watching films and the light-hearted bickering and the wonderfully strange conversations in the dining hall and her profound insights and the hugs and the solid advice and her craziness and also being an all-round good cookie.
Quena is leaving in a few days (she'll be back though) and then I'll be gone as well (although I will also be back in October) and then only Chris will be around and that's only till graduation. Suddenly you realize that this is actually the end of the uni year and soon everything will just be memories.
Still- that's a wonderful thing to have.

Catch the sun

The sun came out today and it was an event. Everyone dashed out to get some of it and it was almost comical. They were sprawled out around the quad and I was the only one who did not really need a tan. It's good to be black. I was joking with Nash that they were only getting the 'sloppy seconds' of the sun- i.e what's left after Africa has got its share which is NOT a lot. I was also arguing with him about whether 'star wars' has dumbed down science-fiction (I think it has) but he was hearing none of it. Later we went out and sat by the lake- me, Chris, Dan, Quena, Tom, and Nash. It was a great day. When the sun is out like that, it really does affect you psychologically. Suddenly everything is super-cool. Doves were right. ("catch the sun..before it's gone")
Valli left yesterday. She was absolutely delighted to be gone- she has always loathed Reading and the uni itself. "I'm not going to cry" She kept saying and she didn't. Wer'e really going to miss her.
Reading: 'Beloved' by Toni Morrison.
'Scrubs' is now officially the best thing on TV. Well that and 'Totally wild' on National Geographic of course. One thing that has taught me is that spiders are pretty cool.

addressing comments on the pictures

I've been getting a few comments about pointing my finger at the camera in some pics. Apparently it is either dodgy or too rock-starish. My answer is a) I want to b)There is nothing you can do about it and c)nyah-nyah!
So there!

And some (Im pointing at YOU Laura!) were suprised to see me at a festive event- I do NOT sit brooding in my room all day. Yes I am very anti-social and about as charming as a bad-tempered rattlesnake but I can let my hair down any day of the week and party with the best...well maybe not the best. The second-best.

Dammn I wish I had a donut.

One I forgot to put up- me, Chris, Valli, Emilien, Rama and Constance.

Pictures from the ball: me and Rama-Yes that is a drunken smile! Thankfully mine was behind the mask...

me and Valli. I had decided to retire the mask at this point....

me and the girls!

me, Alex and Rama. I'm not quite sure what we were doing here.

Kerim, me, Valli, Rich and Emilien in the tent.

By this point everyone was pretty much out of it- here I am in the tent with Dan and Rich. I thought the mask was pretty cool. It was originally Chris's but he refused to wear it.

Still in Chris's room before we went out for the ball- Chris, Rama, me, Rich and Emilien.

In Chris's room before we went outside- me, Emilien, Constance and Chris

Anything to declare? yes, a hangover.

Wantage Hall ball- crazy crazy night.
Now that I look back on it, everything was just a kind of interesting blur. This is chiefly because of the amount of alcohol I had no choice but to drink- cider, beer, whisky all made an unholy combination but did the job. I ate nothing all day except two donuts and a slice of bread. It was a wise decision although I'm not sure why. Still getting drunk without spending a cent gives you a nice feeling inside (Rama bought the white lightning and all the other alcohol was given to me by...erm, other people) White lightning is the 'poor man's champagne' (really cheap cider) so admitting to drinking it as me and Rama did caused a few laughs all around. When I went down to the bar with it, Matt took a swig of it and made a face
"That's white lightning!" He said looking genuinely shocked.
"I told you that didn't I?"
"Yeah, but I thought you were joking!"
So yeah it turned out to be a fun night- there was the dancing and the endless pictures (and now that I remember I had my picture taken by some people I don't even know) and beer-induced conversations and the pool game with Rama that I only dimly remember. And then at 3.am I found myself in Valli's room with Emilien, Ritch, Mez, and Alex and we listened to mainly cheesy music. The four men in the room sang along enthusiastically to quite a few of them. When you have four men in a room singing Lionel Ritchie songs at 3 in the morning (watched by two amused girls) it is a clear indicator that the brew has spoken. Then later there was Chris' room and tons and tons of weirdness all around. There were still a few people sitting outside at dawn singing and trying their best to catch a cold. I slept one of those Im-so-going-to-pay-for-this kind of nights but the hangover was not as bad as I had dreaded although I did crawl out of bed at around 4 in the afternoon looking like something the cat had dragged in then dragged out again.
Consider the day seized.

You can have it all (if you like)

The Wantage Hall summer ball is on tomorrow. I'm still bitter that we;ve been screwed over pricewise- 15 pounds without a meal? What the hell? Anyway I'm grudgingly there although I usually hate these kind of formal occasions in the same way I can only go for weddings under bribery or threats. The theme is masquerade so everyone has to wear a mask. Wer'e probably going to sit around making them tonight- you know, the 'cut paper with scissors' way- instead of actually going out to buy them. Mez insists she knows what she is doing, but the rest of us don't have a clue.
I'm feeling sick as well- have been for the past few days. I think its this bloody flu which I think I picked up when I went out on Monday. A fun night, but you always pay for those in some way don't you? Bringing it up at dinner only made me get teased mercilessly ("Is that what you call laziness these days?") but dammnit I cant pretend when I feel like hell. As said in futurama-"The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised".
Watched 'maria full of Grace' at the Film theatre- it was Spanish in English subtitles but that didnt detract from its power. It's about the drug mules who smuggle the bad stuff into the States from Colombia- in this case, a seventeen year old girl. There are a few shocking sequences when she has to swallow these big-ass pellets and she has to swallow about fifty. Everyone in the theatre was shifting in their seats and trying to look away. That's why Film is such an important medium. A single visual image can be so incredibly powerful that it makes you feel you have discovered some kind of universal truth even if it's not a pretty one.

The endless benefits of 'Commando'

My friend Geoff once told me a funny story- his girlfriend was coming down to stay the night all the way from Brighton a few months ago and wanted to know what film she wanted him to rent. He said 'commando'. She thought he was joking. He was serious. She came down without it.
I've had a suprising number of conversations about 'commando' and a few other Arnie films since I came to uni and most of the guys know all the funny lines. I remember telling Geoff that I had watched it again on TV when I was at Wells Hall and he said he knew it was on but he had been forced to go to club with his girlfriend and some other friends. He had a terrible time in club that night because he kept thinking "Shit- I'm missing 'commando' now". Whats the best thing about it? The one-liners. Some of the greatest one-liners in cinema history have been uttered by Mr Schwarznegger and they are made funnier by his dodgy accent and his complete inability to act.
"You are very funny- I will kill you last"
"Don't disturb my friend-he's dead tired"
"Remember when I promised to kill you last? I lied"
"Let off some steam"
And of course the unforgettable 'fuck you scene'. One of the bad guy says 'fuck you' and pulls the trigger, but he's run out of bullets. 'No' says Arnie 'Fuck YOU' and shoots him. My brother once tried to tell this line to someone, but we ended up laughing so much in between the two halves of the joke that it took about ten minutes just to tell the scene. As a kid you watch all the shooting and think 'This is cool' but then what happens when you grow up? You watch it and think.... 'This is cool'. But you appreciate it in a different way- not as a serious action film, but as pure comedy that is actually quite clever in its silliness.
And a lot of his other films have great lines. Even the terrible 'total recall' has that scene when he shoots his wife then tells her "Consider that a divorce". Another favorite-but this time not uttered by him- is in 'Red Sonja' where having killed the bad guy, he is ready to get the girl. Instead she says "I will only submit to a man who will defeat me in battle" and he actually has to have a serious sword-fight with her just to get laid. Thankfully courting girls has become a lot less dangerous although it is still as complicated.

My brother, the German economy and pushing the 'self-destruct' button

So anyway I promised to talk about how my brother's relentless desire for conversation can lead him down some embarassing roads. The 'German economy' incident is one I like in particular especially because it's still as funny as it was when it first happened.
It was during my first year here and me and Rama were standing in the doorway when this German girl comes along and just kind of stands near us. I'd seen her around and only knew her as possibly the most quiet person in the entire hall- I had hardly ever heard her speak. Anyway she just stands there in the doorway with us in total silence and I can already see my brother getting impatient and desperate to attack the silence. So after a few minutes, he cant take it anymore and starts talking. I cant remember everything he said but he eventually wound up giving an in-depth discussion of the German economy among other things while the girl just kind of smiled and nodded. It was going fairly well until he began to diss people who stereotype Nationalities. He blasted people who do that with Germany- 'the land of Hitler' etc. So guess what he does after taking so eloquently about the dangers of stereotyping? You guessed it- he fell right into that trap straight away. He started talking about German women and in the process he began to discuss the issue of the female East German athletes who were heavily doped during the seventies and eighties for the Olympics and started making jokes about "Heidi Shmunz standing on the starting line and scratching her balls" (the drug regimen made them very masculine as you can imagine) It was hilarious. I was laughing till tears were rolling down. It was only later that he realized exactly what he had done and he was horrified. I dont think the girl took it badly- I do remember she was smiling- but for him to wander straight into the 'female German athletes who virtually turned into men' stereotype was a magnificent faux pas. I tormented him about it for months afterwards. Everytime there was a silence and I felt he was sufficiently at ease, I would say 'So yeah, the German economy...' and he'd scream at me "You dickhead!' and occasionaly throw something ( I learned to be very quick). He asked me later why I didnt stop him. I told him anyone who would ruin such a moment of pure comedy gold would have to be insane. I guess you just had to be there, but the whole thing-even before the athletes made an appearance- was absolutely funny. My brother has rarely since equalled that night of rambling. It was possibly the most epic 'foot in mouth' incident I have ever been a witness to.

From left- Mez, Quena and me. This was taken about three months ago in Quena's room by Chris who also organised the shot. Turns out he has a sharp photographer's eye.

A night out

I went out last night with brother, later joined by sister. White lightning beforehand ensured that I was a bit drunk by the time we showed up in the queue. My sister called when we were near the front and by the time she showed up we were at the very front and the queue was one of the longest I have seen. However you have to admire my sister's nerve- she calmy strolled through everyone all the way to the front and got in even ahead of us because we were arguing with the guy to let in my brother who didnt have an ID. Just want to give my kudos to Teta for that bold move. Respect. Jumping a queue in this country is just about the worst thing you can do that's not a criminal offence.
Anyway a lot of the usual strange and funny things that can only happen on night's out did. When I went to the loo, some guy entered in and started singing 'A little bit more' by Liberty X- a very dodgy pop song. He just sang the first line really loud ('SEXY....') and then suddenly the rest of the toilet joined in singing the next few lines ('Everything about you is so sexy....') led by my ever enthusiastic brother. It was hilarious. I was laughing my head off which is never a wise thing to do while you are peeing. It would have made a nice TV advert actually.
More weird things- having total strangers greet me like a long-lost friend and also being roped into having a conversation about African tribes by my brother with a Ugandan guy we barely know. My brother did most of the talking as he usually does in these kinds of situations. He can start a conversation in a monastery, my brother. This has occasionaly led him down some embarassing roads as I will reveal in another post. All in all an okay night, but I didnt feel like I had missed much in my exile from the nightclub scene which is also the way I felt when I went to Bar Risa. Staying in is fun enough for me and I mean 'fun' in a slightly different sense of the word.

A toilet story with a happy ending

First off- Easy with the big words Ray! And the post below only makes sense if you combine it with another recent one.
Anyway I clogged up the toilet the other day. It was about a weeks ago and I went, did my thing and flushed. Only when I did this did things start to go wrong- instead of going down everything...well, came up. It was very undignified. I stood there for a moment wondering what happens next and contemplating this sudden shift in the priorities of my life-from wondering about my academic future to combating a rogue toilet. O fate why do you mock me? Anyway I was frozen with inaction. Should I flee the scene of the crime without looking back? Well of course I had to- there was no Plan B. So I fled. However it turns out that the entire hall did have some kind of sewage problem and toilets were being clogged all over the place, so it wasn't my fault after all. Just thought I'd share that.