Dont panic

Exam countdown: 16 days.
I've been swamped lately with all this bloody work. Reading land law at 2am in the morning is not exactly something that gives you zest for life, but I'm trying my best to keep calm and its working so far. I'm fairly confident Constitutional and human rights law will be ok, but land law and equity&trusts are both on a mission to make my life difficult. Most of my friends are in their final year and they are heading towards exam time with as much grace and calm as someone heading for a date with the firing squad except they aren't yet peeing in their pants (a stage that is surely not too far away). I was talking about it with Quena today. We've got to keep calm, because if other people's panic rubs off on you, it could screw you up. She's a lot more preoccupied with the fact that she might be getting fat (which is bollocks frankly 'cause she's only put on a little weight but I call her 'fatty' just to tick her off) Thankfully getting fat is something I will never have to worry about for as long as I live.
Anyway Trying to wind down, I went for 'Garden state'(written, directed and starring Zach Braff the lead guy in 'Scrubs' one of the funniest shows on TV) which I'd been dying to see but very nearly missed because I didnt have the schedule for the term. I discovered it was showing only 25 minutes before it actually did and I had to make a wild dash to campus. It was definitely worth it in the end- beautiful film. My only complaint was that He used 'Dont panic' the Coldplay song, but he used it at a totally wrong time right at the beginning which was a pity as it could really have made lots of scenes more memorable. On a related note Natalie Portman is unreasonably good-looking. I'm glad I made the film. Dan was gutted he missed it though and I don't blame him.
Anyway 11:17- the night is young. I'm off to do something productive. A bit of fanta twist and bread/cake/whatever edible substance I might have plus some jazz and I'm all set. Law here I come.

"I have a plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it"

Aahhhh Wantage...I swear when I walked into this place on Sunday morning I very nearly did what the Pope does when he gets off the place- yes I was this close to just kneeling down and kissing the ground. Only the presence of a few students lining up to get their keys prevented me from showing my appreciation. And the bathrooms were so clean! Yes, I sound like a 'munyachalo' but people, Wells Hall was not funny. Celebrated by getting drunk Monday evening with some friends, and I still managed to make it for breakfast and my 9am revision lecture which calls for a round of applause. And no hangover. Aah, here is to cunning plans. Cheers.
Bizzare analogy of the day courtesy of Raymond "Minzo, your blog is like a pregnant spider"
Oh yeah, the hair is gone now. It was really getting out of hand and it had already declared its independence and started designing its own flag before I stepped in. I'm going to miss it though. I feel very strange without my afro.
Today I read 'Ronia the Robber's daughter' for the first time in fifteen years (it's by Astrid Lingren who also wrote the 'Pippi Longstocking' books). This is the book that changed my life- I stumbled on it when I was about seven and reading it (well trying to- I cant be sure if I completely understood it then) made me love books from that moment on. So it obviously has a very important place in my heart because I still remember reading a book for the first time as being one of the biggest thrills I've ever experienced. I looked it up in the library yesterday and I wasnt allowed to borrow it for some reason- I was only allowed to read it in a special archives room. It was incredible to hold it in my arms again and weirdly enough I remembered certain parts of the book like the part when Ronia gets her foot stuck in the snow. Yes- the high point of my day was sitting in the library reading a children's book.

last post from Wells!

Moving out of this bloody hall tomorrow. YES! I cant wait. I even packed this morning, as if packing sooner was going to get me to Wantage any faster. The general consensus is that this place will not be missed. it will be nice to shower and shit in places that don't look like torture chambers. Wantage, I'm coming back to you!
And yes I'm not going to update my other blog. I set it up just because I've always wanted to have a blog with a line from the song 'Warning sign'. With that accomplished, my work there is done. Don't bother checking in.
And donuts...so many donuts...Homer was right. There is nothing they can't do.
"We have nothing to fear but sanity itself" Robin Williams

Well...yeah!

First off, let me start by answering some questions that have been posed to me recently.
Raymond: 'Huh?' (Radiohead post below)
Answer: If you've come to this blog looking for clarity or sense then I pity you. Raymond you of all people should know this!

I have a neighbour who is driving me up the wall. She's Nigerian and she moved back in about a week ago but she always has at least twenty people in her room anytime of the day or night and boy do they make a lot of noise!. They must be hobbits if they can all sleep-or even fit- in there, I cant think of any other explanation. Anyway we are leaving this place on Sunday so I've only got a few more days of bitching to go. Thankfully the hall has not yet reached the point where- as Malcolm in 'Malcolm in the middle once put it- The rats and the cockroaches are fighting over the maggots fecal matter, although I was scared this would happen during our stay here.

I've had two black cats run across my path in the space of about a week. Does that mean the potential bad luck has cancelled itself out? The second incident was a bit stranger. The cat saw me and then slowly began to back away looking hard at me then it darted behind a car. When I walked by, it began to follow me and it just kept staring at me in a very weird way . I'm not a superstitious person, but I dont like being stalked by a black cat.

The new Pope has been announced. Why does the Catholic church think its a smart idea to appoint a 78 year old guy to the post? He'll be drooling and struggling to walk within two years anyway. How about aiming for someone a bit more youthful?

Laura: Do you like the new Oasis single 'Lyla'? It's quite good actually. One thing I dont like about Oasis is Liam's voice- it can get quite irritating. You could see the difference when Noel sang on 'Dont look back in anger'. He has a much better voice. As for British guitar groups, I strongly advise you-if you havent discovered them already- to look up the Verve. They broke up a few years ago, but their album 'Urban hymns' is a classic (surely you have heard 'Bittersweet symphony?') Coldplay- best music act in the world. No debate there! But the British also produce their share of annoying bands- The Darkness and the Killers spring readily to mind.
Listening to: Bebel Gilberto, John Coltrane

Reflections on Radiohead (fitter....happier....more productive)

'OK computer' by Radiohead last night won the Channel 4 'greatest album of all time' as voted for by viewers. Now whether this is actually the greatest album ever is debatable (I was happier about U2 getting second place),but I've got it in my collection and I have to say it is one of the most daring, original, complex and just plain weird albums of all time. For one thing it is almost unrelentingly sad-this is the band that was chosen to write and perform the song that ends the 1996 film version of 'Romeo and Juliet' after all (the result is possibly one of the saddest songs ever written and very chilling as well) the entire album is one hell of a mindtrip from the exhilaration of surviving a car crash, mental illness, black humor, depression, corrupt politicians, the IMF, the futility and monotony of daily living, clueless tourists, the desire to conform, capitalism...there's so much here that by the end of it you just feel completely drained but strangely uplifted. Still, its not for everyone (My brother stopped it at the second song saying "This is just too depressing!"). Non-fans would probably find this the most depressing music they have ever heard but music works in weird ways. It's funny because although I am fundamentally a very happy person I seem to be attracted to this kind of music quite a lot, Coldplay being another good example. Then again, no one does melancholy music quite like the British.
"For a minute there....I lost myself"

Get thee down. Be thou funky.

Still basking in the glory of Liverpool's progress to the semis. It was a goalless draw which was enough to see them through. It's Chelsea in two weeks now. Not even the most positive Liverpool fan would have seen this coming, me inclusive.

There was a report in 'The independent' today about the staggering amount of waste that this country generates- about 40 billion worth of food is thrown away every year. Thirty percent of all the food produced ends up in the bin. It's completely mind-boggling. In a world of poverty, how do you come to terms with something like this?

I've set up another blog to put up all the other shit I've generated in the past-essays, stories and all that. Seek and ye shall find.

Raymond's post on his violent antics as a child are simply hammering home my point: I did not slap the bugger in Kindergarten. If anything he slapped me! For those of you not in the know, Raymond claims I slapped him out of the blue one day in Kindergarten and it's something I completely deny because I think my brain would have stored something as significant as slapping my first childhood friend. In any case, the mystery drags on- I even wrote an essay about it and Raymond wrote one in response defending his position and none of us are the wiser.

And then there was nonsense: Part 2

"Please can you stop the noise I'm trying to get some rest..."

First off- to everyone who is teasing me about lifting weights, I give you a one finger discount (thanks to Tesi for introducing me to that expression) It would be funny, but my body is still aching like hell. Understand that I last did this about four years ago and since then my only form of exercise has been doing press-ups every night. Still, cheap jokes about my lack of fitness shall be met with a strong response. And you can't hide people because I have you on messenger!
Suprising news of the week: Tesi rides a bicycle. She just told me this on messenger and...oh, hold on. It's a stationary bike she's talking about. My bad.
Second leg tonight- Liverpool vs Juventus. Ninety minutes away from the semi-finals.
I think I've come to that point in my life when everything is suddenly starting to make sense- you know- the meaning of life, my position in the universe, how many spoons of sugar I REALLY need in my tea...all the important questions. It's all starting to fall into place now. Is it because of the maturity that comes with age? Or were the answers there all along? And what good are these answers if I still have to pay 70p for milk? In any case, inner peace is a lot closer now and all my plans to conquer the universe have been suspended until further notice.
Monty Burns of 'The Simpsons' is a hero. What a funny bastard:
"What use is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man"
"Release the hounds"
"Ah, Monday morning.... Time to pay for your two days of debauchery, you hungover drones."
Well, that's odd.... I've just robbed a man of his livelihood, and yet I feel strangely empty. Tell you what, Smithers, - have him beaten to a pulp."
"I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until.... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant."
"Why, my good man, you're the fattest thing I've ever seen, and I've been on safari."
I'm looking for something in an attack dog. One who likes the sweet gamey tang of human flesh. Hmmm, why here's the fellow..... Wiry, fast, firm, proud buttocks. Reminds me of me."
I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business"
"I feel like such a free spirit, and I'm really enjoying this so-called...iced cream"
"Ah, Smithers. You're the sober ying to my incorrigible yang."
"Non-violence never solved anything!"

Tuesday

Havent blogged in a while, but I notice that the same goes for a lot of you (except Raymond who is aiming for some kind of blogger medal-not that I'm complaining!) Not been up to very much- went for a party last Thursday, had a few too many and ended up a very interesting hour long conversation about politics and poverty with some guy I had never met before. It wasnt even a party per se, more like a gathering. It was hosted by Emilien who is a buddy of mine from France- an irrepressibly cheerful guy. He was at Wantage in the first term but moved into a house in the second semester. To make sure my French doesnt get rusty, I always talk to him in French but since he is trying to improve his English he always replies in English. Nobody is getting much help either way!
-Did weights yesterday morning but my body is still aching.
-'Quote unquote' is back on BBC radio. Yeah!

Eleven years on...

We will never forget.
I was listening to Radio Rwanda online the other day and 'ese mbaze nde?' came on and it just overwhelmed me with sadness. Yes I am still angry, yes I carry a lot of hatred in me but as Raymond said on his blog, we the Tutsis can stand proud and tall and say 'We are still here'. I don't want to write a long post about the genocide and its aftermath because words cant really do justice to an occasion like this, but for the next week we are going to be united in our grief.

And then there was nonsense part 1

Well I'll be dammned- blogger is working just fine! I was putting up something last evening but I just got lazy and wandered off before it was done. And yes Liverpool did win- Ezra I hope you had a few pints on my behalf when the final whistle was over! I know I needed one. My bank card is still not here so my sisters were nice enough to fix me supper last night. Quena wandered in and kept me entertained throughout the meal although this involved a considerable amount of bullying on her part.

I have a certain 'reward' system that operates mainly in the holidays- If I'm a good boy during the day i.e do enough reading then I get to reward myself. This month it has been the stack of Series One 'ER' episodes on video I picked up at Blockbuster- at a ridiculously cheap price. Video is definitely dying. At the end of every hard working day, I snuggle into bed and watch another episode. I absolutely adore 'ER'-It's funny how such a fairly grim show can be so uplifting at the same time. I ran into Mez in the kitchen right before I watched the show and she was telling me she has a similar system. Do we really have to bribe each other to get work done? What is happening to this academic generation? I made a stupid joke about reality knocking at my door at one.am and me telling it to fuck off and she was telling me about how her mother kept drumming into her how she must accept/embrace reality and not run away from it. This somehow led to us wondering what would happen if reality was on drugs- what would the implications for everyone else be if reality itself suddenly couldnt cope with reality? But reality is not a fixed cocept Mez reasoned-everyone has a different reality because reality is what you make it. That would certainly make her mother's advice redundant because any reality she was in would be the right one more or less. Is this making any sense? Ah, hell it's too late for that.

Oh yes- Elections have been called for May 5th. Anyone allergic to highly concentrated bullshit should leave the United Kingdom for the next month or so. I absolutely love how the Parliament is so laid-back and informal- the speakers, even the prime Minister, get booed and cheered and everyone cracks jokes and just seems like they are having a bloody good time. You get conversations like this:
Howard: Why, Mr Prime Minister, are you letting in two billion immigrants into the country every month and why are Gypsies invading the country and setting up their caravans in every neighbourhood of Britain? Isn't this the end of civilization as we know it?
Blair: I repeat- Mr Howard is a vampire. Why is he trying to change the subject?

My brother on who is going to succeed the pope : "I'm putting my money on a Catholic guy"

Somedays even my lucky rocket underpants don't help...

I'm not even sure blogger is going to put this up. The odds of me writing this and then watching it disappear like our dear friend Balsera are very high but here goes . I have a hammer at the ready anyway so I can teach this computer a few lessons in on-the-spot therapy if it screws me up.
Liverpool is playing Juventus tonight so I'm very nervous. One thing you should know about playing Italian clubs is that they have mastered defending as an art form. God forbid they score first- you might as well leave the field because it's easier for Michael Jackson to walk past a kindergarten without pausing than for you to get an equalizer. And they don't even defend desperately, but with such style and effortlesness that you just want to scream. I probably will do plenty of that tonight-dammn you Italians!
Raymond- your sudden transformation from choir boy-marriage-promoter-in chief to rabid casanova has taken us all by suprise. When are you going to be on messenger you bugger we need to talk! (and I expect you to be the only person to know where the blog title is from by the way) Also I wasn't able to work on the script this weekend due to reasons that I am too lazy to make up right now.
Reading: 'Ubik' by Phillip. K. Dick
Listening to: Maxwell, Radiohead, John Mayer

Is yesterday, tomorrow today?

Me and Wells Hall had a heart-to-heart talk last night and we agreed that although things could get better, we were stuck with each other and by Jupiter we were going to make the best of it. On a somewhat unrelated note, the ATM machine swallowed my bank card yesterday evening and I took it suprisingly well considering the fact that I won't be able to withdraw any money until I sort it out with the bank on Monday. The bank will then send me a new card about four days later. I shouldnt be this calm about it! Anyway one must make do. Also I notice a complete failure by my friends and family to come to terms with the fact that I am skinny and I am NOT going to fatten up. Quena and Mez especially have both been telling me to put on some weight, but unfortunately the complaints division of my brain is run by Inspector Dont Giveadammn (and his assistant Mr Who Karez) and he's telling me to watch more TV.
I was listening to a five part special on Freud on BBC radio 4 the other day. The Highlight of it all was the one that dealt with Freud's analysis of humor. Hmm- let's see. Freud.explains.humor. From there I could easily imagine Fifty Cent talking about pacifism or Michael Jackson giving you tips on how to seduce women. It is easily one of the funniest things I heard this week.
Exams are finishing shockingly early- May 19th! I'm going to have an awful lot of freetime till I get back home. I need a job and infact I need it so badly that I might take the drastic measure of actually going out to look for one.
Laura- can you update your blog woman!

Last night Newcastle played Aston Villa and we got this strange image of team-mates Kieron Dyer and Lee Bowyer sudenly fighting in the middle of the game. How bizzare is that. They both got sent off but it was hilarious to watch.